I had a conversation once with Christine. I doubt she remembers it, but it really struck me. She said, “I don’t think we need religion anymore.” And I wholeheartedly agreed. Religion was something that people used to explain the unknown, the crazy phenomena that happened. How humans came to be, how the universe was created, what made people the way they are. But science is proving (and disproving) new things every day. Maybe we don’t need to believe blindly anymore.

And yet there are still things that happen, inexplicable things. Things that are caused not necessarily by our own actions, but that set other things into motion all the same. This I also wholeheartedly believe. This time, however, I don’t necessarily agree. I know, life isn’t fair, but cut a girl a break sometime, will ya, Fate?

Fate, or God, or whomever you are. If the latter exists, please don’t spite me for not believing all the time. How can I, in a world where, unfortunately, people hold your “words” to the letter on some things (see: same-sex marriage) but not others (see: divorce, which Jesus Himself thought was bullshit)? In a world where, unfortunately, terrible things happen to people who have only tried to be good and kind? In a world where, people take what they interpret to be your message and commit the sin of all sins, in your name?

Maybe you are not as omnipotent as we all think; maybe you are standing somewhere, weeping silently, because the world you created has all gone to shit. We were the ones with the power to change it, but sometimes I think it’s too far gone. (Oh, to live in the times when life was simple, and pagan law ruled, and homosexuality, prostitution, sex, and rock n’ roll were not only perfectly acceptable, but deemed necessary. What a concept!)

Sometimes, I just don’t know what to believe. If you are as kind and forgiving as they say you are, then you will spare me my worst fears, right? I know my actions affect others. I know everything happens for a reason. But please, give me mercy, and make sure that I and I alone pay the time for the crime. Nobody around me deserves such a fate, for mistakes I made.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 8th, 2010 at 2:29 am and is filed under Life updates. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.